– Book You Most Want to Share With Another Adult (Because you need a witness to the weirdness)
– Strangest Religious Book for Children
– Most Hated Children’s Book by Health Providers (especially dentists and diabetes counselors)
– Book Most Likely to Turn Your Kid into an Addict
Yes, it’s true: Candy’s Coco Shop serves up a whole store full of strangeness to entice and entertain you – though you may think twice before exposing your children to it.
I have two copies myself, because I found it at a yard sale and snatched it up in a giddy whirl, remembering how I’d loved it as a kid. Then my mom sent me my childhood copy. Then I read it to my daughter; just the first page gave me a sugar rush and some kind of religious fever that may or may not have involved hives…
The funniest part of this book is that it doesn’t take much to guess the thinking process behind its inception. The author obviously thought, Okay, I’m going to get kids to love God with a children’s book, and how am I going to do it? Oh yes – By using the tried and true methods of every successful child-snatcher around: Give them candy. Throw in some cute animals. And give them lots and lots of candy.
The strategy is obvious because that’s pretty much the plot of every page.
1. Coco the bear gives everyone some candy, packing some for their trip.
2. The pals buy some balloons that spell out “God made you,” while the pig eats more candy. The text explains that this “puzzle” “will tell you something about the way you are made.” Oh. How scientific.
3. They hop on a train that follows a track that spells out “God goes with you everywhere” (called a “train puzzle” in the book, though how it is a puzzle, I am not sure).
4. Then on a hayride, Coca passes out some bon bons, lollipops, and gumdrops.
5. Some farm animals offer milk and wool (not sure why, because no one drinks the milk or takes the wool, kind of a pointless moment), while the pals play on tractors with religious ideas scrawled on the wheels – another “puzzle.”
6. They hop on a boat and experience a storm, during which they are supposed to “Talk to God,” as suggested by the boat puzzle.
7. Back on shore, they get some ice cream from the ice cream man; the pig named Pudge thinks putting everyone in a sugar-induced coma is ” a good way to show all the love in your heart.” Great message!
The ice cream puzzle asks readers to figure out who it is that God wants to “love him very much.” Yep – it’s “YOU,” as spelled out by “Yummy Orange Upsicle.” Cool idea, huh?
8. The candy fiends return to the candy shop and eat more candy, while the turtle character passes out, obviously suffering from some kind of glycemic shock.
Okay, so maybe there’s a few parts where they aren’t actually eating candy. But when you’re reading the darn thing, it feels like that’s all they do. And while I tend to leave out the “puzzles” when I read it to my kids, there’s not really any way to avoid the candy.
Which makes me wonder, why do I have this book and read it to my kids at all?
I can only guess that, despite my logical, adult mind’s abhorrence for the thinly veiled religion peddling and the negative nutritional values expressed, Coco’s Candy Shop got to me early. I’m hooked. Those swirly lollipop trees just look good enough to eat. I can’t put it down!
Anyone know a detox program for this kind of thing?
Any nominations for other weird religious books for kids?